Monday, 28 February 2011

John.....What A Girl! (An Appreciation of Fabulously Fastidious Female Feline)

I have just finished emptying John's litter box...not my favourite domestic chore I have to add....well there are none that I'm verging on orgasmic about ....but scooping the poop definitely registers about minus 15 on my Richter scale of knee tremblers!

Anyways...back to John...John is a house cat ...she prefers 'cat in captivity' or 'feline felon'...depending on sorry she is feeling for herself as she gazes wistfully out of the window at the Promised Land (aka back garden) where lesser members of her species wander free and unfettered.

As a house cat, John has her very own toilet facility and it is with regard to this that she behaves in a way I've never known with my other cats. Firstly, when she's done her business she doesn't just quickly cover the offending wee or doo-doo with some litter...noooooooooo..not her...we have about 10minutes...I kid you not... of raking,  scraping and what sounds like much so that I've often expected her to come through the hall ceiling!This is followed by another 5mins of  scraping her paws clean on the inside of the box. Finally we have a period of grooming and cleaning of the appropriate dangle berries on this little lady...No Siree!
Now Leo...he does his offerings outside in the garden...well actually not my garden..but in surrounding gardens (Shhhhhhhhh!!) ..and he basically just dumps and walks...not even a cursory attempt to cover anything up!

However, it is in the post-toilet phase that John once again comes into her own because, once she has finished, she hovers around the box...often laying siege to the landing... with a 'So when are you going to deal with the aforementioned poop...'cause if you think I am going to use it again while that lot is in there you've got another thing coming' look on her furry face!Only when you have prostrated yourself in apology and removed the soiled litter will she go downstairs and relax on her chaise longue with a G&T! 

Heaven for fend if you don't do it before she needs to go again because she is as good as her word... the one time I was held up/distracted by something else...well let's just say...we'll never look at the bathroom scales in the same way again!


  1. another good pee your pants post!!
    John is certainly not a mucky lady!!

  2. Lol!
    The ironic thing is, that no amount of kitty litter scraping and covering of the offending article can hide it's tell tale odour!

  3. So true, David....but she simply won't use it if old stuff is still in the box! She is so very funny!